Interesting Realizations!

I got the call today from Dr. Simpson that Bennett could be home in as soon as 48 hours!  After we got him started back on his diuretics Saturday he was a different baby and finally started to eat more on his own again!  I am so excited that we will finally have our little guy home.  I have been so ready since he has been at a point with his respiratory status that I felt comfortable taking care of him.  We have just been waiting for him to take all of his feeds on his own...I would have brought him home with his NG tube (feeding tube), but they wouldn't let me :-(

Realizing that I will soon have a baby home on oxygen raised a lot of questions for me this morning...where will we put the main concentrator?  How hard will it be for me to get it from one room to another with him and Blake?  How long will a portable tank last?  How do I get the tanks filled? The list goes on and on!  I spoke with the social worker this morning and she will set us up with Cook's home health as soon and the order is written that he will get to go so we can get everything set up at the house.  I think my biggest fear is that we will be out of the house and his oxygen tank will run out...I envision myself frantically running into a ER screaming "HE NEEDS OXYGEN!"...hopefully I will plan our outings a little better than I give myself credit for!

That brings up another point...outings.  Bennett pretty much will be a 'bubble baby' this first year to allow his lungs to grow.  Getting sick could land him right back in the ICU.  I dread his first cold!  We basically will get him out of the house to go to doctor appointments for his lungs and physical therapy for his arms...that's about it.  While I was pregnant with Bennett and Blake and we didn't know if Bennett would make it, I promised God that if he would let me keep him I would take better care of him than anyone else and now it's time to make good on that promise!  It may make me a little over protective, but that's what moms do!

With all of that being said, I resigned from my job today.  It's bittersweet.  I enjoy being a school nurse and I didn't realize how much I need to have something in life that gives me the feeling of accomplishment until I went on disability this year.  The school district I was in was so good to me and I feel guilty for leaving, but I have to look at it as I am getting to spend this next year watching my boys grow and I will be blessed not to miss a moment!  I'm hoping once a schedule is established with the twins that I will be able to work somewhere on Jason's off Fridays to keep up my skills and allow me to have some "me time" out of the house...plus I need a pedicure fund :-)

I know the next few months will be a little rough while we figure out what's going to work for us, just like it was rough until I figured out what was going to work when we brought Blake home.  I at least feel a little more capable and prepared for Bennett to come home...I am just waiting for the moment that I get to see them side by side for more than 30 seconds.  I don't know if I will be able to take my eyes off of them!!!!!!