Happy 1 Week Birthday!

Blake and Bennett are 1 week old today!  I can't believe how much they have overcome in 7 days!  They change every time we see them and are growing right before our eyes!






Bennett the day he was born



Bennett 1 Week Old!  He had just gotten a bath and a clean bed...He looked like one comfy boy!



Blake on the day he was born.





Blake 1 week old!  He had just eaten a bottle that he did not want to wake up for.  This is just one of his many faces that I love to sit and watch him make!

It has been a rough but rewarding week.  It was so hard to leave the boys at the hospital Monday and I felt horribly guilty leaving them there yesterday, but today was a little easier since they both had great nurses that looked after them the way I would if they were at home. 

We talked with the doctor this afternoon when we arrived in Bennett's room.  He had wonderful news about Bennett.  He said they did another sonogram of his heart yesterday and the report came back today and said his PDA (hole in his heart that normally closes at birth) went from moderate/large to "trivial" and that he did not see him having any problems with this any longer.  He also said that the report stated that he no longer has really high pressures in his lungs and is considering him more at the stage of a premature baby than a baby with pulmonary hypoplasia...that was great news to my ears.  Basically we just have to wait for his lungs to grow and for him to be strong enough to get off the ventilator.  Of course we are not out of the woods yet, but the doctor said he sees more things going right at this point than going wrong.   They took both of the lines out of his umbilical cord and increased his feeds to 10ml (2 teaspoons) today.  He said they may increase his feeds to 20 ml by tomorrow if he tolerates his feeds well.  He is still getting irritated fairly easily, but they are giving him Morphine and Versed to help keep him calm and before they do physical therapy or anything to him in his bed.  He seems to do well when Jason and I talk to him and touch his head and hold his hand.  It may still be a few weeks to a month before they get him off the ventilator, but he is on a low oxygen (26-35%) and pressure setting (24%) which is good news.  I am ready for him to be off the high frequency ventilator so I can hold him.  I think that will be one of the top days of my life.  It has been so hard to get to hold and feed Blake and not be able to do much for Bennett.  I know the day will come, but I can't wait!  The doctor keeps telling us how lucky we are that I was able to stay pregnant so long with his fluid being ruptured and that he did not get infected.  He said had he been born at 24 weeks that he wouldn't have had much of a chance to survive.  I just feel like Bennett is supposed to be here and that he is a miracle that we get to witness first hand every day.  We are so lucky!

Video of Bennett sucking on his intubation tube...I think he is having sweet dreams!

Blake is still doing great.  We have gone to the NICU and fed him his 2pm and 5pm bottles.  The nurses always tell us that he does such a great job at taking his bottles and has no issues...then Jason and I try to feed him and he just wants to sleep.  I think some of my favorite time spent with Blake, other than getting to cuddle with him, is watching him wake up.  I think he stretches and yawns for 5 minutes...it's a very long process.  We tried to get a video of him doing it today and wouldn't you know that he just woke right up for the first time.  He is a character and makes some of the best faces.  I never get tired of staring at him and can't wait for the day that he is home and I can watch him anytime I want.

In the time span on 7 days I have fallen so madly in love with these 2 boys and I am so thankful for them both.  They had to overcome some great odds to be here and to be doing so well.  I can't help but think that God has a special mission for them in life...I can't wait to find out what it is!

Rough Day...Boys are still doing great!

Yesterday we had to leave our two precious boys at the hospital and I think it was the hardest thing we have ever had to do.  I thought I would be ok with it, but then we went to see Bennett and he was awake and crying and it broke my heart.  There was nothing I could do but touch him in his isolette and all I wanted to do was hold him.  I think the thing that irritated me the most was the nurse practitioner and nurse were both standing there and weren't doing anything to comfort him.  Granted you can't hear him cry because he is intubated, but I feel that he should be watched close enough that they should know when he is upset.  He calmed down a little when I held his hand and talked to him, but when monitors and alarms started going off in the room (which is all the time) he would get upset again.  Finally they gave him a little sedation medication to help calm him down, but it was too late...my heart was broken and I did not want to leave him.

They had to put a PICC (a long lasting IV) line in Bennett's foot yesterday.  He tolerated it well and hopefully he won't have to keep getting stuck over and over to get IV's.  Yesterday was the first day we got to see Bennett awake.  It was amazing.  He just stared right at Jason and I.  It was strange how much he looks like his brother.  I feel like every time I see him he changes!  He is tolerating his feeds and had his first poopie diaper this morning.  We were very excited!  The physical therapist started working with him yesterday to straighten out his right arm and the nurse said he did not enjoy his time with her.  They are going to make a brace for him to wear a few hours a day to help him eventually be able to move his arm.  The doctor called this morning and they are going to have to give him a small blood transfusion, which is normal since they do so much blood work every day...his little body can't keep up.  They are also going to increase his feeds today.  He is currently on 27% oxygen, at times last night he was on 21% which is the same as room air.  He still needs the assistance of the ventilator to help with pressure to keep his lungs open and to help get rid of carbon dioxide, but the doctor said he feels that his lungs now have the reserve to do it on his own some day.  Right now his lungs still need to grow and hopefully now that he is starting to eat that will happen.  I am so proud of this little guy and how much he as accomplished in such a short time. 

The first time we got to see Bennett's eyes.  I fell in love with him more than I knew I could!

Video of Bennett awake for the first time!

Blake is doing wonderful as well.  He was very sleepy yesterday.  Jason and I tried to feed him twice yesterday and he would not wake up.  The nurse had to work her magic to get him to take his bottles, which he did.  He no longer has the tube in his nose and if he keeps taking all of his feeds from the bottle they won't have to put it back in.  He also got the IV taken out of his head.  He is a free baby other than the cardiac monitor!  Today he weighed 3 pounds 12.3 ounces (4pounds 1 ounce at birth) so they are going to start adding extra calories to his milk to help him gain weight.  He is out from under the bili lights and hopefully won't have any other issues with his biliruben levels.  I love getting to go see Blake and just hold him and kiss his little cheeks.  It brings us comfort to be able to snuggle with one of our babies since we are still waiting for the day we get to cuddle with Bennett.

Daddy feeding Blake for the first time

Mommy snuggling with Blake

Dress up session number 2...the first hat Mommy knitted in the hospital

3 Days Old!

Blake and Bennett are 3 days old today and going strong!

Blake @ 3 days old.  He got to put on real clothes today!

Bennett @ 3 days old.  He's working on his tan!

Bennett still has a long road ahead of him but has made huge strides forward in the past few days.  As of today they have taken out his chest tube and his lung is staying inflated.  He is still on the high frequency ventilator and nitric oxide.  His oxygen is at 33% (they had to turn it up a bit because they lowered the pressure settings on the vent) and his nitric oxide is at 2.  The doctor today said they may try to take him off the nitric oxide in the next few days, but his nurse today said he did not tolerate it well when they turned it off for a bit today.  They did a sonogram of his heart today to check for a "hole in his heart", but we won't know the results of that until tomorrow.  They had to put him under the bili lights last night, but that's pretty standard in the NICU.  His nurse today said he was able to straighten out his right arm a little bit more today which is great news.  He is starting to get a little bit of dependent edema (swelling) in his neck today, but they said not to worry about it.  He is currently sedated on morphine and versed, but he still will move a little when we touch and talk to him.  I am so proud of him for how far he has come in the past few days, but I expect his progress to slow down a little now.  The doctor today said that it's still too early to tell, but he expects Bennett to come home sometime in June.  I just can't wait for the day that I can see him awake and I can pick him up and hold him!  It's really hard to see one baby doing so well and one that has such a hard road ahead of him, but if anyone can make it Bennett can.  I think the power of prayer has gotten him this far and I know we all will continue to pray until he is out of the NICU and home with us!

Bennett at 2 days old.  We got to "hold" him in his isolette.  It's not much but it meant the world to us!

Bennett at 1 day old

Bennett at 2 days old.  We can't get enough of this little guy!

Blake has utterly AMAZED us today.  We found out that he took 2 bottles last night and only had 1cc of residual.  They increased his feeds from 10cc-15cc at 11am and from 15cc-20cc at 4pm.  We went to the NICU to feed him this morning and we got to try breast feeding.  I didn't really expect him to do much, but was excited for the opportunity to bond with him.  After about 5 minutes of trying to get him latched on the nurse had us try using a shield and he caught on right away.  He did so well and fed for about 15 minutes.  We went back at 4:30 and to our surprise they were moving him to the feeder/grower room.  The only place left for him to go is HOME!  The doctor told us that he thought it would be another 3 weeks before he was home, but at this rate he may go home before me!  He continues to shock and amaze us and we are so grateful for the progress he has made.  He will be our little overachiever!

Blake in his new room!

Blake at 2 days...WIDE AWAKE!

Update on the Babies!

Our two little guys are such fighters and have come a long way in 2 days.  I am so proud of them!

Bennett is slowly making progress and the doctors are very pleased with how he is doing so far.  They are going to remove his chest tube this morning since his pneumothorax has not returned since they clamped it yesterday.  They have been able to turn down his blood pressure medication (Dopamine) to 9 from 11.  When they get his dopamine down to 5 they will be able to start feeding him breast milk.  Currently he is being fed TPN and Lipids (food and fats through a IV).  His lungs are still having issues, but they have been able to wean the amount of oxygen and nitric oxide he is on.  Currently he is on 27% oxygen on the high frequency ventalator (Room air is 21% oxygen and on the high frequency ventalator he gets 420 small gentle breaths per minute).  His nitric oxide is at 4 and they are working on decreasing it by 1 every 8 hours until he no longer needs it.  His face has started to round out and not look as smushed.  He finished his antibiotics yesterday and there are no signs that he got infected from being in a ruptured sac for so long, which in itself is a HUGE miracle!

Blake is still doing great.  He decided yesterday morning that he no longer wanted to be on his CPAP machine and took it off all by himself.  The nurses were impressed with how much he had to pull off.  They decided not to put it back on him since his oxygen level was 100% on room air!  He is tolerating his tube feeds much better and more milk is getting digested.  They are going to increase his feeds from 5cc to 10cc's every 3 hours today and we are going to get to feed him at his 11am feed this morning! 

I am starting to feel much better.  Everyday the pain improves and I look a little less like a old lady trying to walk around.  I got my IV out this morning and the doctor said we are looking at going home Sunday.  I have been here for 9 weeks now and I am anxious to go home, but now I want to stay here to be with the babies.  It's going to be very difficult to leave them here when we go home.

Here are some pictures from yesterday.  Jason spent some great quality with the boys yesterday while I took a nap.  He got to change Blake's diaper for the first time and was initiated into the Daddy club with a golden shower!

Blake without his CPAP!  He looks like a totally different baby since the swelling went down in his face.

Blake's first dress up session.  I couldn't resist!

Daddy changing his first of many diapers for Blake

Jason holding Blake.  He is a natural!

Blake is so happy and calm in Daddy's arms!

Bennett.  We can't hold him or touch him very much, but I can't wait for the day to come.  He is doing well with his isolette being covered to keep his enviornment dark and calm.  I am so proud of this little trooper.  I think he has my determination!

Blake and Bennett Are Here!

Blake and Bennett were born yesterday (3/23/11).  Blake was born at 3:18am and Bennett was born at 3:19am.  Since Sunday evening I had been having contractions, but there were too far apart for them to say that I was in labor and the babies looked great on the monitor.  Tuesday evening the contractions started getting worse, but they still told me "it's normal".  I had taken 2 vicodin and all it did was make me sleepy and in pain.  Our nurse, Sara, called the doctor on call about 2am and all he wanted me to do was take 2 more vicodin and then he would do lab work in the morning.  After another hour of contractions and 2 more vicodin later, I had had enough.  There was no way I could stay in that kind of pain for another 10 days.  Fortunately there was a labor and delivery nurse on the floor that night and she came to check to see if I was dialated, which by the way is the most painful experience ever.  She discovered that I was dialated to 4cm and then the fun began!

I was in a labor and delivery room by 2:30am and in the OR by 3am.  I decided to do a general anesthia C-Section because of the issues I have had with spinal leaks in the past, so unfortunately Jason was unable to be in the delivery room.  They told us both babies came out crying and looked good on their way to the NICU.  Jason got to see them in the hallway as they left the OR.

Blake did wonderful and only needed to be hooked up to bubble CPAP (provides gentle pressure to help keep his lungs open) and a small amount of additional oxygen.

Bennett was on bubble CPAP at first, but then needed to be put on a high frequency ventalator.  When I saw him for the first time he was on the ventalator and they could only get his oxygen saturation level to 78% (100% is perfect).  He had a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) and they had to place a chest tube.  His blood pressure kept falling so they had to start him on dopamine to help raise it.  He also has IV lines into his umbilical cord, which is why we can't hold him yet.  His face was a little smushed from his position in utero and his right arm has a contracture and he can't straighten it out past 45 degrees.  We talked with the neonatologist and he said they were going to start him on Nitric Oxide to hopefully help increase his oxygen level.  When we went back to the NICU later in the afternoon he was more stable and his oxygen level had increased to 98%.  I have worked around many babies and kids hooked up to all of these machines and medications, but it so hard to see when it is your own.  I feel like we worked so hard to get him to 32 weeks and I just keep praying that they will keep him going so his little lungs can develop and he can get off all of the machines.  I don't care how long he has to stay in the NICU as long as I get to take him home someday.

I talked to both of their nurses in the NICU this morning and both are doing well.  Blake was moved to a lower acuity unit and is not needing extra oxygen added to his bubble CPAP.  They feed him 5cc (1teaspoon) of donor breast milk every 3 hours.  The nurse told me this morning that his residual drawback (the amount of milk left in his stomach from the last feeding) was 5cc's, meaning that he isn't digesting his food.  Currently they are truning him on his right side after feeding to help with this.  Bennett's nurse told me that they were able to decrease his oxygen level to 51% from 85% yesterday.  They tried to turn his dopamine down to 10 from 11 last night, but his blood pressure fell and they had to turn it back up.  He still is on the high frequency vent and nitric oxide, but is stable.  She also mentioned that they are not sure if he has a open PDA (a hole in the heart that normally closes at birth).

I am hoping to go down and see them again in a few hours and hopefully Jason will get to hold Blake for the first time today!

Here are a few pictures of my sweet boys!!!

Blake

Me holding Blake for the first time!  It was the best feeling in the world!  He is so tiny (4 pounds 1 ounce) it was like holding nothing.  He has such a quiet cry and truns bright red when you mess with him, but once I was holding him he was calm and just held on to my finger.  It made my heart melt!

Proud Mom and Dad with Blake.

Blake.  His face is a little swollen from the bubble CPAP and the tight hat he has to wear to heep the CPAP on.  I haven't seen him with his hat off, but they say he has a ton of dark hair!

The first time I saw Bennett.  I couldn't see much because I was in bed and his bed wouldn't lower down far enough.

Blake

Blake

The first time I saw Blake!

Bennett

Blake Edward Warner, 4 pounds 1 ounce, 17 inches long

 

Bennett Owen Warner, 3 pounds 8 ounces, 16 inches long

32 Weeks!

On Friday we hit a huge milestone...32 weeks!  Our next milestone is 34 weeks and then we get to meet these little guys!  I am so anxious to see what they look like.  They say that women dream about their babies, but appearently I'm not normal.  When I first got pregnant, before we knew we were having twins, I dreamed I was having a boy, but it had Hunter's face and I was disappointed that I got a dog and not a baby!   He's cute, but I would prefer that they look like us and not the dog :-)  A few weeks ago I dreamed I had 2 babies, one still looked like Hunter and the other looked like Bailey...I think I miss my pups!

Hunter 

 

Bailey

For the next 2 weeks it is the babies job to grow and develop their lungs a little bit more.  We had a sonogram on Saturday and the babies are getting so big that we couldn't even get a good view of their faces for updated pictures :-(  We tried to once again confirm that Bennett is a boy, but as Jason puts it "they both have their heads in each other's junk!"  Blake's head is so large that there was no hint to if Bennett is a boy or a girl, so to us he is still a boy.  Blake on the other hand is not shy and showed us everything.  Both babies looked good and you could see them practicing breathing.  We got to see Bennett have the hiccups!  According to the doctor they both "pass".  Blake got a 8/8 and Bennett got a 6/8 because he has no fluid (a great score considering all he has had to overcome to this point).

In the past few days, Jason and I have hit a point of frustration with being at the hospital.  They tell you to tell them if you have any changes, so when I started having contractions they said "It's normal, let us know if anything changes or if you have more than 5 in hour."  When I had more than 5 in a hour they said "It's normal, let us know if anything changes."  They wanted to know if I started swelling, when I did they said "It's normal."  When my blood pressure was high the past few days again I got "It's normal".  They give you a baseline to notfiy them if you change and when you do it's as if it doesn't bother them or there is nothing to do.  I know why we have been here for so long and if something emergent happened it's where we need to be, but I almost feel like I could have stayed in my own bed at home and gotten a fetal heart monitor and faxed them the strip to read.  When I was talking to the doctor on call this morning he told me "Don't take this the wrong way, but we don't really care about your contractions.  If you want to have these babies we aren't going to stop you and it will get you out of here a few weeks earlier."  I wasn't sure if I should say ok take them and I'm out of here, or if I should be a good soon to be mom and stay in this bed a few more weeks!  Now is not the time to tempt me with going home!  There is finally a small light at the end of the tunnel and it makes it a little harder to stay in this room another day.  It's for a good cause and if staying in this room for 2 more weeks means the babies get to come home that much sooner, that's what I'll do!

Rough Week

This past week has been a bit of a roller coaster and in case you didn't know I'm not fond of roller coasters!  On Tuesday I started not feeling well and started having very long, big contractions every 30 minutes throughout the day.  Most contractions last about 1-2 minutes and mine were lasting about 4-5 minutes and were close to having enough intensity to go off the monitor strip.  I think I made a impression on my nurse!  They were worried I was getting a infection in my uterus and did a CBC that came back normal.  Thank goodness!  If I get infected it means I get a immediate C-Section.  I felt pretty crummy Tuesday through Friday; having a hard time staying awake, not wanting to eat and having short bouts of nausea.  All of the nurses kept telling Jason not to go too far because I was going to "declare" myself and have the babies.  I'm glad they were wrong!

I think we finally figured out the cause of why I wasn't feeling well today.  I had been taking Ambien since Monday night because I was having a difficult time sleeping.  If I lay on my right side I feel like I am smushing Bennett, and if I lay on my left side the outside of my left leg falls asleep...all that leaves is my back and I never sleep on my back (I think I'm going to have to learn!).  Last night I didn't take a Ambien and I feel and look much more human today.  I have been able to stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time and I don't look like I'm stoned!

Thursday a neonatologist (doctor that takes care of premature babies) came to talk with us after we requested the consult for a 3rd time from our doctor.  He didn't really think we needed to talk to a neonatologist and chuckled to himself when we asked again, but I really didn't care...I feel like the more information we have the better prepared we are.  Basically we will have to wait until the babies are born to really know what problems we are facing, but the good news is Bennett has good lung tissue development and is practicing breathing when we get to see him on the sonograms.  He said we should know how he is going to do after the first few days.  If we make it to 34 weeks the earliest they would get to come home would be 36-38 weeks depending on how they are eating and if they are able to regulate their temperature.  We are continuing to think positive and pray for healthy lungs.  I think both of these boys are fighters!

Belly Pictures!

It's been awhile since I posted a update, but there hasn't been too many exciting things going on...that's a good thing!  We had a sonogram last Wednesday and Blake weighed 3 pounds 8 ounces and Bennett weighed 2 pounds 15 ounces.  Overall the doctor is happy with their progress.  He thinks Bennett may still have a few issues with mild hypoplasia of the lungs (under developed lung tissue), but he thinks we will still have a positive outcome which is nice to hear!  He is still thinking he will keep the babies in until around 35 weeks.  He doesn't want to take them too early and cause Blake to have problems that could have been avoided, but he doesn't want to leave them in too long and cause Bennett to have problems or take a chance on getting infected.

In the past few days I think Bennett has unfolded himself  (his feet were by his head before) and has started moving a lot more.  He has figured out when they put him on the monitor and tries to 'run away'...he's becoming a little stubborn.  As Blake has gotten bigger he is squishing my stomach and he has decided to tuck his rather large head under the right side of my ribs.  If he decided to move I would not be upset!

Over the weekend my friend Sarah came to take some belly pictures for Jason and I.  Here are just a few.  It was nice to put on real clothes and do my hair and makeup for the first time in 6 weeks!  I love the way they turned out (especially for being taken in a hospital room)!

This is the blanket I have been knitting since Christmas...I finially finished 2 days ago!

Blanket from our crib set

I hope we are this happy in a few months after what I'm sure will be a large lack of sleep!

I sure do LOVE this guy!

My sweet friend Sarah!

My "Neighbor" Lindsey.  It has been wonderful finding a friend up here to visit with and share ideas!  Sarah took a few pictures for her too.